Tag Archives: Humor

The Shameful Sham of Shamrock Shakes

Every March, McDonald’s releases its Shamrock Shake in dubious honor of St. Patrick’s Day. This dairy-and-syrup-heavy minty green beverage is supposed to make the month extra-festive. However, with 12 grams of saturated fat, nearly a quarter of your daily maximum cholesterol, and 660 calories, shake guzzlers will need the luck o’ the Irish to keep the jig in their step afterwards.

Using chemical coloring and corn syrup to make a high-cholesterol dairy item match the month’s color scheme? It’s enough to make a banshee wail! There are so many naturally green foods that are actually good for you. Green apples, kale, broccoli, pistachios, honeydew melon, kiwis—they all create a nutritional pot of gold.

With dairy’s connection to certain cancers, don’t try your luck with the Shamrock Shake. Instead, start spring off on the right foot with our Green Goddess Smoothie. Or for a more decadent treat, check out The Edgy Veg’s Vegan Mint Milkshake!

Green Goddess Smoothie

Green Goddess Smoothie

Makes 5 1-cup servings

1 orange, peeled
1 cup grapes
1 banana
1 pear, cored
1 cup soy, almond, or rice milk
2 cups fresh kale or spinach
ice cubes (optional)

Place all ingredients in the blender for 1 minute, or until desired smoothness is achieved.

Add ice cubes, if using, and process further to desired temperature.

Per 1-cup serving:

  • Calories: 110
  • Fat: 1.1 g
  • Saturated Fat: 0.2 g
  • Calories from Fat: 8.5%
  • Cholesterol: 0 mg
  • Protein: 3.1 g
  • Carbohydrates: 24.5 g
  • Sugar: 14.9 g
  • Fiber: 3.8 g
  • Sodium: 36 mg
  • Calcium: 99 mg
  • Iron: 1 mg
  • Vitamin C: 33.1 mg
  • Beta Carotene: 2464 mcg
  • Vitamin E: 1.2 mg

Source: Katherine Lawrence, owner of www.plantbasedhealth.com

Dear Oikos: Take a Page from Joey Gladstone and Cut It Out!

The buzz over this year’s Super Bowl has been nearly overshadowed by the highly publicized commercial reunion of the three “dads” from the 90s classic Full House. It’s a shame that the uniting force for the comedic trio is Dannon’s Oikos Greek Yogurt, which employs John Stamos as a spokesperson.

The Pantheon of Greek Yogurt Gods

While the reunion has produced some humorous late-night TV banter, yogurt has a serious downside. Dairy is strongly linked to ovarian cancer, and men who consume the most yogurt have a 52 percent high risk of prostate cancer. In the words of Stephanie Tanner: “How rude!” And the probiotic effects of yogurt have been overhyped even more than the Oikos commercial. In 2009 and 2010, Dannon paid legal settlements of more than $50 million related to their false-advertising probiotic claims. Yogurt is also a high-calorie, high-sugar product, with nutrition content similar to pudding and ice cream.

If Stamos had really been consuming Oikos yogurt as much as Dannon would like us to believe, a real Full House reunion segment would feature Uncle Jesse needing a prostate exam and convincing Danny and Joey to go along with him for solidarity. As the physician snaps his rubber glove, Uncle Jesse exclaims, “Have mercy!”

To get a cholesterol-free Full House fix, ditch Oikos and its marketing campaign, and check out this Jimmy Fallon skit:

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